I guess there are just dreams we are never meant to achieve.
No. Not because we could not, it's that it just wouldn't be.
No. Not because of what you did, it's that it must be what you have. And that something you have, you can not unhave.

I believe, that this is just how life goes. There is no really complete healing to one's wound. You can forget. You can ignore. You can move on, swear, you can. Then again, have you noticed? Scars remain, but during some points in your life, it still throbs. It gives pangs of pain just to remind you of what you have forgotten, of what you have ignored, of what you have moved on with. It pains to remind you. That once in your life, you had that.